Notes from the fifth session of our Lent Study Group.
Précis of Chapter 5 – “Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them”
In Chapter 5 of 12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson explores the role of parental discipline, authority, and responsibility in shaping children into socially competent and morally grounded adults. He argues that children must be disciplined, not because adults enjoy control, but because undisciplined children become miserable, socially rejected, and even dangerous—both to themselves and to others.
Peterson warns parents against failing to correct bad behavior out of fear of conflict or guilt. He criticizes the modern tendency to avoid saying “no,” which he sees as a failure of love, not a sign of tolerance. Children need clear boundaries to understand the structure of reality, and it is the duty of parents to act as proxies for the world, teaching children how to behave in ways that will make them welcome in society.
The heart of the chapter is the assertion that disobedient or disrespectful children will not grow into responsible adults unless their behavior is corrected early. To fail in this is to betray the child—and society. Good discipline is not harshness but structured love that sets clear limits and applies consequences consistently.
Key Themes:
- The necessity of discipline – Children must learn the rules of social interaction early.
- Parental responsibility – Parents must have the courage to correct bad behavior.
- Boundaries and consequences – Love involves structure, not permissiveness.
- Raising children for the real world – Parents prepare children to be competent, virtuous adults.
Resonance of Chapter 5 with the Penny Catechism
Jordan Peterson’s fifth rule, “Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them,” closely reflects the moral and theological worldview of the Penny Catechism, particularly its teachings on parental duty, the formation of conscience, the nature of love, and the avoidance of sin.
1. The Role of Parents as Moral Guardians
Peterson insists that parents have a sacred responsibility to discipline their children, setting clear moral boundaries. The Penny Catechism teaches that parents are obligated by God to raise their children in the knowledge and love of God, which includes correcting their faults.
Penny Catechism: “Parents are bound to bring up their children in the true faith, and to correct their faults.”
→ Discipline is not cruelty—it is part of Christian love and duty.
2. The Formation of Conscience
Peterson argues that failure to discipline results in children who are socially and morally malformed. The Catechism likewise teaches that children must be taught to distinguish right from wrong, and their consciences must be properly formed—not left to their own instincts or social experimentation.
Penny Catechism: “The conscience is the voice of God in our hearts, teaching us that we must do good and avoid evil.”
→ Parents help awaken and train the child’s conscience through correction.
3. Love as Order, Not Indulgence
Peterson stresses that permissiveness is not love, and that refusing to correct a child’s behavior is ultimately selfish or cowardly. The Catechism confirms this by teaching that true love desires the good of the other, and that tolerating sin or disorder is not charity but neglect.
Penny Catechism: “To love our neighbor as ourselves is to wish him well and to do him good.”
→ Correcting a child lovingly is a higher form of love than indulgence.
4. Sin, Habit, and the Need for Early Correction
Peterson warns that bad habits formed in childhood become ingrained, leading to lifelong misery. The Catechism teaches that sin darkens the intellect and weakens the will, and thus it must be opposed early and consistently—especially in children, whose habits are still forming.
Penny Catechism: “We must avoid the occasions of sin.”
→ Undisciplined behavior in children is often an early occasion of sin, both for them and those around them.
5. Social Responsibility and Christian Citizenship
Peterson asserts that parents raise children not just for the home, but for the world. The Catechism teaches that Christians must prepare children to live rightly in society, governed by God’s law.
Penny Catechism: “God made us to know Him, love Him, and serve Him in this world.”
→ Parents form children not just for happiness, but for holiness and service.
Conclusion
Peterson’s fifth rule strongly echoes the Penny Catechism’s teachings:
- Parents must correct faults early to guide children in virtue.
- Discipline is an act of love, not a denial of it.
- Children need moral structure to develop their conscience.
- Permissiveness fosters sin, while correction fosters sanctity.
In short, the Catechism and Peterson agree that raising a child without discipline is not kindness—it is abandonment.
Resonance of Chapter 5 with the Catechism on Modernism (1907, Pius X)
Jordan Peterson’s fifth rule, “Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them,” stands in firm opposition to the spirit of Modernism, as condemned by Pope St. Pius X. His emphasis on parental authority, moral order, and the necessity of discipline directly challenges Modernism’s relativism, emotionalism, and rejection of objective moral norms—particularly in education and the formation of the young.
1. Rejection of Moral Relativism in Child Rearing
Modernism, according to Pius X, denies that truth and morality are fixed and objective, instead promoting the idea that moral norms evolve according to personal feelings or cultural trends. Peterson firmly rejects this, asserting that children must be taught objective boundaries, regardless of individual preference or passing ideologies.
Catechism on Modernism: “Modernists make of conscience an independent judge, and base it on sentiment alone.”
→ Peterson insists that children’s actions must be measured by truth and order, not emotion or convenience.
2. Discipline as an Antidote to Sentimentalism
Peterson argues that failing to discipline children is not an act of love but of cowardice—often motivated by a desire to avoid conflict or discomfort. Modernism, in contrast, reduces morality to subjective emotional experience, where discipline is often seen as repressive or outdated.
Catechism on Modernism: “They regard authority as a hindrance, not a necessity, in religious and moral formation.”
→ Peterson restores the importance of authority, especially parental, in shaping the moral character of children.
3. Early Formation in Objective Moral Truth
Peterson emphasizes that children need firm guidance early to become responsible adults. The Modernist tendency to delay moral instruction or leave children to “find their own path” contradicts both Peterson’s argument and Catholic tradition.
Catechism on Modernism: “Modernists substitute the religious sentiment for the assent of the intellect to objective truth.”
→ Peterson affirms the classical view: children must be taught right from wrong, not left to discover it emotionally.
4. Parental Authority as a Reflection of Divine Order
Peterson argues that parents serve as representatives of the world’s moral structure, helping children internalize the rules that govern life. Modernism, however, distrusts hierarchical roles and divinely ordered authority, viewing such structures as oppressive rather than formative.
Catechism on Modernism: “The Modernist places the origin of religion not in revelation, but in human consciousness.”
→ Peterson, though secular, acknowledges that children must be conformed to an order outside themselves.
5. The Social Cost of Modernist Parenting
Peterson warns that undisciplined children become dysfunctional adults, creating long-term damage for both themselves and society. The Catechism on Modernism condemns this neglect of moral formation, which leads to societal decay, spiritual confusion, and rebellion against truth.
Catechism on Modernism: “The corruption of the youth is the result of removing moral boundaries and denying absolute truths.”
→ Peterson’s emphasis on early discipline is a direct challenge to this Modernist dismantling of authority and tradition.
Conclusion
Peterson’s fifth rule aligns with Pius X’s condemnation of Modernism in the following ways:
- It affirms that truth and morality are not subjective.
- It defends authority, structure, and discipline in moral education.
- It upholds the principle that children must be taught objective standards early in life.
- It recognizes that emotional sentiment cannot replace responsibility and order.
In short, Peterson and the Church both affirm that without discipline grounded in objective truth, there is no formation—only deformation.
Lent Study Group
Each week, we read a chapter of Dr. Jordan Peterson’s Twelve Rules for Life and compare and contrast his insights with perennial Catholic doctrine. Participants are encouraged to read the chapter ahead of the meeting, noting their initial thoughts, questions, and reflections. Afterward, they search the Catechisms—including the Penny Catechism, the Catechism against Modernism, and other traditional sources—for relevant teachings that either align with or challenge Peterson’s ideas.
During the meeting, we discuss these comparisons, examining how Catholic moral theology, hierarchy, and objective truth provide a deeper and more complete understanding of the principles Peterson explores. By engaging in critical reflection and theological analysis, participants strengthen their ability to articulate and defend the faith, apply practical wisdom to daily life, and prepare spiritually—especially in the context of the liturgical season.
If you’d like to join in the discussion and participate in our study group, we meet every Wednesday from 5.30pm at Mrs Reed’s home on Hartington Road, email for an invitation.
